Watch out for that...

As a child I remember walking toward the kitchen from my aunt's living room and accidentally tripping over an object on the floor. My cousin, who observed the incident said, "watch out for that," right after I ungracefully fell to my knees. Yeah, thanks.

As an adult I feel like I still experience this scenario. For example, when I'm trying to accomplish something at work and a more experienced staff person with information that would make the task easier watches as I fumble, then offers the "oh yeah, that doesn't work" comment when I tell them about it. Again, thanks.

I realize this happens (mostly) unintentionally. But sometimes I feel a sense of deliberateness behind it. Like the thought is "the newbie" will only learn how to accomplish the task by being humiliated in front of her peers (in my case). Well, that certainly is true, but is it a good thing?

It's not obvious to me why information and experience isn't shared among colleagues in the same workplace the way we share with our professional colleagues outside the office. I attend conferences and webinars where people present their best practices, workflows and scripts for handling tasks. A lot of great tips and suggestions are also generated via list servs.

The best part about this sharing is that it doesn't just prevent people from feeling dumb (e.g. no one at our library could ever write a script like that), it encourages people to try something new.

At my new job I'm fortunate enough to have a co-worker who is very knowledgeable about the products I support and is willing to spend time answering my questions. It's wonderful, and I'm grateful to her. It's like I don't feel like I have spend time looking at the ground for some object I might trip over. I can focus my attention on the eight thousand other issues that surround being "the newbie." And she can take comfort from knowing that sharing her knowledge will get me up to speed more quickly (and take some of the burden of work from her shoulders).

So the next time you see someone who is struggling (or about to do something the wrong way), please remember that helping them will benefit you, not just professionally but personally as well. It really is the right thing to do.

The Bill Gates clip and confidence

A few weeks ago a friend sent me a link to this You Tube clip. I find it enjoyable to watch (yes, I've watched it a lot) because it's funny, and I think it's great that Bill Gates was willing to participate in making a video like this. It's amazing to think of all that he has accomplished in his life so far.

I wonder if Bill Gates has ever had a confidence crisis? Has he ever struggled to understand a concept? Does he ever think, "I really messed up on that one?"

These days I am endeavoring to accept myself as I am. I recently started a new job and have been learning a lot of new concepts. I have been fortunate that I've had time to study the software I work with and observe a customer training.

Unfortunately, I don't learn well by reading and observing. I learn through hands-on experience, which is usually a painful process because it involves embarrassing myself in front of others.

In the past I would spend a lot of time berating myself for not being a better learner. I'd call myself stupid and lazy and believe it. Now I'm learning to take my failures in stride focus on developing tools that will help me learn through doing. I remind myself that for every home run I hit, I'll have struck out a lot more.

I don't think I'll ever believe I have a brilliant mind but I'm grateful for the mind I have. Besides, a brilliant mind won't get me anywhere if I am not willing to work hard. If I'm lucky, I'll get a lot of batting practice over the course of my lifetime and maybe I'll hit the ball out of the park a few times.

Thank you

I just want to thank Peggy, Terry and Ian for their comments about on my post about blogging. I am working hard now on getting over my confidence issues and focus on what I can offer to the world by blogging. Your support means a lot to me!

I checked out Peggy's Boldness Blog and have been reading it a bit while I've been on the road. It's quite good and I think it's what I need right now-- boldness!

Terry's New Cybrary blog is always very interesting--it's wonderful to be able to read the well-crafted and thoughtful comments of a library director.

And Ian, I really wish you'd get back into the blog world. The web needs more Packer blogs. You just can't beat a good Brett Favre story.

Coming back to blogging

It's been a long two months. I quit blogging because I took a long family vacation and started a new job during December and January.

I enjoy blogging but have a couple of reservations about continuing it. First, I am weighted down by my deep fear of writing poorly crafted posts that will make me look foolish. That is a huge disincentive to posting. Another is not having the time to devote to writing. So I'm making one more attempt and we'll see how it goes.

I'm grateful to the bloggers out there who provide me with thoughtful and entertaining reading material. Thanks!

Growing Up

A co-worker's blog is focused on her struggle to stop being a perfectionist. A noble cause, indeed! For some, perfectionism is about fearing failure. For me, perfectionism is the enormous struggle to stop planning and start doing. To make things worse, once I commit to doing something I usually waste more time questioning whether or not I've done the right thing.

Why is this the case? Could my issue be confidence?

I admire people who can make a decision quickly and stick with it, even in the face of criticism. As a kid I remember hearing someone say the worst thing a person can do is not make a decision. The older I get, the more I think this is true. I have to frequently remind myself to act and accept the consequences of my actions in my professional and personal life. There is more to lose by being indecisive, no doubt.

It would be nice if our minds could say "that's enough" when we've received all the information we need to make a decision. Confidence definitely plays a role then. My inner voice quickly rushes to say, "are you sure you didn't overlook something?" and then I'm back to a state of paralysis. I've found that using a simple, understated gift from a friend is an invaluable tool (thanks, Jenny!) in helping me make a decision. I often keep the list and refer to it when I hear myself ask "why?"

I realize that my internal voice isn't going to change without some major effort on my part. But a little positive reinforcement from the cosmos never hurts! So right now I look for the silver lining in all of my decisions. I focus on it, no matter how small it might be, and trust that one day my voice will be quiet or better yet, filled with approval.

Wiki post

The first time I heard about wikis was a few years ago at the 2004 LITA National Forum. The room was jam-packed. I listened for a while but remember quietly walking out the door long before the presentation's end.

The concept seemed cool enough. A web page where anyone can edit the information on the screen. What a neat tool to use for collaboration. The software isn't overly techie (a real plus for me who was, at the time, implementing a host of other technologies). But I worked at a corporate library and words like "open access" and "public information" weren't frequently heard in our office.

But that was then and this is now. Now I'm working in an environment designed for sharing and we've asked our libraries to add content to wikis. I'm looking forward to using this tool to collaborate with colleagues and share information instantly.

Google, huh?

Has anyone else who uses Google mail noticed this freakishly scary phenomenon-- gmail places ads above your inbox (or open message) and the ads seem to be based upon keywords from the content of your mail. For example, I received an email last week from a sender who is a professor at U of Michigan. She was asking folks to fill out a survey to assist her with a research project. So what appeared above my email?? An advertisement for degree programs at U of Michigan.

While writing this post I thought I'd test this weirdness out again. I just upgraded my Norton antivirus software and still have the confirmation email sitting in my inbox. Can you guess which company's advertisement appeared above the email when I clicked on it?

So now I've established it's not just me being silly. I'm sure this is no secret of the world. I haven't read any of the techie blogs that probably hashed through this problem a couple of years ago. I'm sure there is some gmail setting I need to turn off and I just need to take the time to make the fix.

But it brings up a point about privacy that drives me nuts. I don't really like having advertisements or book suggestions (Amazon) made for me based upon the last email I read or search I performed. (I'm talking here about the front page I see as soon as I log on to the store's web site.) It's less distasteful when I'm home but when I use a public computer I don't need everyone in the world knowing about my obsession with zombie survival handbooks (oops, did I reveal too much?)

Libraries are great at protecting our privacy in this way. I never log on to InfoSoup (my local library's catalog) and see personalized recommendations based upon the last material I checked out. If I did, I'd probably complain (or ask them to turn off that functionality for my account). I'm happy to just browse the electronic booklists or better yet, ASK A LIBRARIAN for a recommendation. Believe me, when I worked the Reference desk I may have judged you but I certainly didn't tell anyone about your interest in books about baking hemp.