Growing Up

A co-worker's blog is focused on her struggle to stop being a perfectionist. A noble cause, indeed! For some, perfectionism is about fearing failure. For me, perfectionism is the enormous struggle to stop planning and start doing. To make things worse, once I commit to doing something I usually waste more time questioning whether or not I've done the right thing.

Why is this the case? Could my issue be confidence?

I admire people who can make a decision quickly and stick with it, even in the face of criticism. As a kid I remember hearing someone say the worst thing a person can do is not make a decision. The older I get, the more I think this is true. I have to frequently remind myself to act and accept the consequences of my actions in my professional and personal life. There is more to lose by being indecisive, no doubt.

It would be nice if our minds could say "that's enough" when we've received all the information we need to make a decision. Confidence definitely plays a role then. My inner voice quickly rushes to say, "are you sure you didn't overlook something?" and then I'm back to a state of paralysis. I've found that using a simple, understated gift from a friend is an invaluable tool (thanks, Jenny!) in helping me make a decision. I often keep the list and refer to it when I hear myself ask "why?"

I realize that my internal voice isn't going to change without some major effort on my part. But a little positive reinforcement from the cosmos never hurts! So right now I look for the silver lining in all of my decisions. I focus on it, no matter how small it might be, and trust that one day my voice will be quiet or better yet, filled with approval.